Eulogy for my friend, Dave Schori
My good friend of 20 years, Dave Schori, passed away recently. Having been the funeral pastor at a fairly large in my previous position, I’ve officiated at quite a few funerals in the last 10 years (about two dozen), including my nephew’s, my grandfather’s, and my grandfather-in-law, but Dave’s was the most emotional one for me. What follows is the eulogy I shared at his funeral:
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I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have several mentors in my life, and I count Dave Schori among them. Dave taught me some important lessons; the kind that have made me a better man.
He taught me how to fish – off the shore or off a boat – at lake Perris, lake Powell, Lilly lake, Strawberry Reservoir, and countless other puddles and streams between Utah and California. He taught me to enjoy a glass of wine and a good smoke. He taught me how to make a Margarita. He taught me how to knife-fight underwater. He taught me that truly great cooking requires only three things: tasty ingredients, sharp knives, and good friends. He taught me that you can enjoy the finer things in life without being pretentious about it.
Dave taught me to be a better father. I remember meeting him when I was just fifteen, and watching him wrestle and laugh with his two little girls, Kim and Christy, on their living room floor. I remember thinking to myself, “this is how I want to be with my kids someday.” On my very best days I think I am.
Dave taught me to be more honest with myself and others. If you knew Dave then you know he could smell BS a mile away. You really couldn’t pull anything over on him. He knew when you were speaking the truth from a place of experience, and he respected that. But he also knew when you were shoveling it deep. I think that’s why so many Pastor’s and Missionaries were drawn to him, because – as those of us who are professional ministers know – pastors can shovel some serious BS if you let them. But Dave would just roll his eyes and laugh at us when he knew we were piling it on. He never let us get away with it. I think we liked that. I know I did.
In that respect, Dave is also one of the people who taught me the difference between faith and religion. One of his favorite passages of scripture is Matthew 11:28 from “The Message” version of the Bible. It goes like this:
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Jesus spoke those words, and I think Dave Schori lived them. The truth is some of us who are pastors liked to hang out with Dave because he gave us real rest from the steamy pile of religiosity we often found ourselves shoveling throughout the week.
There’s one final thing I learned and it’s perhaps the most important. What I say about Dave today wouldn’t even pass his smell test if I didn’t point out that he wasn’t always a pocket full of sunshine. Nobody is, of course, but Dave could be downright ornery and irascible at times, and he wielded sarcasm with the proficiency of a contentious poet. Sometimes he liked to pick a fight and he could argue with the best of them. It was a beautiful thing.
Sometimes it was like he was daring you to accept him for who he really was, faults and all.
And those of us who loved him did accept him for who he really was. We were compelled to, because Dave led the way in unconditionally accepting others. In the 23 years I’ve known Dave and Janet Schori I’ve seen literally hundreds of guests walk through their door, and it didn’t matter where they came from. It didn’t matter if they were rich or poor, religious or irreligious, joyful or depressed, lovable or unlovable, broken-hearted or arrogant; they were all welcome at Dave’s table.
I’m still trying to learn that lesson from him.
I’m glad he found faith in Christ, because I can’t imagine wanting to go to a heaven that didn’t have Dave Schori in it. I’m looking forward to seeing him there.
