Great line: “So, if you simply attend church regularly and operate below the crisis radar you’re assumed to be of good character”

Character development is difficult, messy, and involves periods of tension and unrest. I often feel the pressure in church to reach a state of “homeostasis” or being “spiritually OK” (or even GREAT). If I am bold enough share that I am changing, transforming and developing in my life, the sentiment I get in response is something along the lines of “We hope you find the answer soon,” and “It will all be worked out in the end.” Character development is continual, and so I’m not interested in finding a static, OK spirituality.

That’s an excellent insight Jesse, and points out another dimension of the problem, namely the general failure of discipleship-oriented groups in typical churches. It’s not long before we start feeling the tension and unrest – either through internal conflicts, or interpersonal conflicts, both are inevitable – and when we do it’s all too easy to leave the group and return to the “big show” where we can settle back into a less threatening homeostasis.

Thanks for commenting!

Don’t you think that “small home groups” in church’s can meet the need for transparency, character development? I know that many small women’s bible studies that I have been in certainly do. And I have been told that is also true of some Men’s bible studies and couples home groups.

Mom,

Absolutely. Small groups can be very effective, and that’s a big part of what I’m driving at in this series. However, small groups in typical church structures notoriously fail in the long run. I think all that happens for a couple of reasons.

1. As long as “church” is primarily understood to be a large, spectator gathering, and as long as this gathering is seen as the means of growing the church, it will always “win” in the competition for resources at the leadership level. Developing good small groups is secondary at best. The end result is that most (though not all) of the people eventually abandon small groups in favor of an event that is more entertaining and less threatening. In other words, “church” short-circuits effective small groups.

The classic way to combat this problem is to make small groups more of a “niche-market” in terms of the goods and services they offer. So we get marriage groups and motorcycle riding groups and classic car groups. While some good might be done in some of these groups we must continually market them in new and creative ways in order to keep faith-consumers interested. That’s not discipelship, it’s salemanship. Appealing to your short-term wants and desires is the exact opposite of what must occur in genuine discipleship.

2. Often the small group is seen as a miniature version of “church,” in which case there’s tremendous pressure on the small group leader to be just as talented, sensitive, wise, capable, and charismatic as the senior pastor. But the reality is that the gift-mix required to pull off a large-scale worship celebration, especially in large churches, is exceedingly rare. This is especially true of the public-speaking task. In the grand scheme of things hardly anybody is an exceptional public speaker. It just cannot be reliably duplicated. Hence, in this scheme small group leaders tend to crumble and the people tend to leave because it just doesn’t measure up to the “big show.”

3. If the church in question has a culture of being dishonest – meaning everyone feels a subtle pressure to come and “put on a happy face” and sort of play at being a good Christian – then that church culture tends to be duplicated at the small group level (not always…I’m definitely generalizing). In that case, those small groups are nearly worthless. What we need is disturbing, non-religious honesty and acceptance – something more like Alcoholics Anonymous and less like the typical “church.”

Small home group CAN meet that need and many others – as long as true intimate relationships develop. Half of the time (if not more often), they don’t.

You make some good points Jason. My only experience with home groups has been with you both in Park City and now here in Oceanside. I can see how home groups could fail based on the points you make. BTW I felt just like I was in a Alanon meeting last Sunday night at your house when you opened up the group for discussion and set the boundary of “No Cross Talking”. LOVED IT!!!!!!:)

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