A Parable of Four Fathers
Once there were four fathers, each of whom had a son who decided to move out of the house and make their own way in life. Each of the fathers presented their son with a valuable parting gift for the journey: a shiny new red car. Upon giving their sons these cars, each of the fathers gave the same promise, followed by the same warning: “This is your car to drive so you may get to work on time, enjoy the freedom to travel, and impress pretty girls. I will make the payments on the car for you because you can’t yet afford something like this on your own. However, keep this in mind: you must cover your own insurance and gas, and be sure to maintain it as well. If you do not pay the insurance, the banks could revoke the title. And if you do not take good care of it, this car that you now love so much will eventually cause you great trouble. You are welcome come over anytime for my help, and use my garage full of tools to maintain and fix it.” Each of the sons was elated and, grabbing the keys greedily, jumped into their brilliant new cars and tore out of their driveways to explore the wild and open world.
However, after several months each of the sons fell into hard times of one sort or another and failed to make their insurance payments. Their insurance was canceled and the banks began to call each of the fathers to report inadequate coverage. The fathers called their sons, but each of the boys was deeply ashamed and ignored their father’s phone calls -afraid to admit their weakness, foolishness, and need.
Each of the fathers responded differently.
The first father was frustrated and angry and wanted to shout and scream and put his son in his place. But, being a strong father he ignored his impulses and did nothing. The bank informed the DMV which revoked the son’s registration and eventually the car was repossessed. The son lost his job and fell into drinking heavily, which contributed to his shame. Consequently, the son continued to avoid the father at all costs and their relationship suffered greatly – making Thanksgiving an excruciating exercise in pent-up rage and passive-aggressive dysfunction in accordance with the American tradition.
The second father was frustrated and angry, so being a strong father he tracked down his son at a burger joint and beat him to a bloody pulp in front of his son’s girlfriend, saying with every punch and kick, “How! Dare! You! Shame! Me! Like! This! You! Owe! Me! Big! Time!” He dug the car keys from his sons bloody jean pocket and drove the car home to care for it himself. The whole ugly incident was captured by a bystander on their cell-phone video camera and shown across the nation on the evening news. It became known as the “Wrath of Bob” video (Bob being the father). Soon the whole family was on the Today show talking to Matt Lauer about the “vicious cycle of abuse.” Jay Roach is now set to make the movie with Jim Carrey and Morgan Freeman signed on in the lead roles.
The third father was frustrated and angry, but, being a strong father, he had a well-thought out plan for what to do. In fact, he had known perfectly well all this was going to happen and had already determined an orchestrated response. He didn’t want his son to be deprived of a car for work, but he did want his son to learn a valuable lesson. So he continued to pay the car payment and the insurance so the car wouldn’t be repossessed. The months went by and the father knew the car would be in need of maintenance. So, one night, the father packed up his tools and sneaked over to his sons house in the pitch of darkness. Quietly and carefully he broke into the garage, lovingly crawled under the car, and cut the break line. While he was under there he loosened the tie rods and cut the belt to the power steering too. The next day the son jumped in the car to head to work, but as he began to navigate the steep downhill switchbacks on the way he found that the breaks were like mush. Terrified, the son jerked the steering wheel to make the sharp turn, but it hardly budged. Somehow he made the first curve, but by the second curve his wheels were rattling from the loosened tie rods, and by the third curve he was totally out of control. He crashed through the guardrail and plummeted down the hill slamming into the ravine at the bottom breaking both his legs, puncturing his spleen, and collapsing a lung. He would have died down there if it weren’t for the EMT crew and life-flight helicopter the father had arranged to have waiting at the scene. As they flew to the hospital together the son gasped through bloody bubbles his eternal thanks and gratitude to his great father for saving his life. The father leaned over and whispered, “I love you son…all is forgiven.”
The fourth father was frustrated and angry, but, being a strong father, he knew that his response to this situation would have serious consequences for their relationship. He didn’t want his son to be deprived of a car for work, but he did want his son to learn a valuable lesson. So he continued to pay the car payment and the insurance so the car wouldn’t be repossessed. The months went by and the father knew the car would be in need of maintenance. So one evening he packed up his tools, sneaked into his sons garage, and changed the oil. He also changed out the brake pads and replaced a bad wheel bearing. The son never even noticed. As the months passed the father would sneak over to the garage and fix little things here and there, but the father knew that the car was ultimately in the sons possession, so there would inevitably come a time of reckoning that the son would have to deal with. He continued to call the son and leave notes warning the son of an impending disaster and pleading with his son to change his mind, but to no avail. Sure enough, one day while driving to work an over-worn tire blew out, causing the son to lose control of the car. He crashed through the guardrail and plummeted down the hill slamming into the ravine at the bottom breaking both his legs, puncturing his spleen, and collapsing a lung. He would have died if it weren’t for the OnStar the father had installed on one of his late-night break-ins. The ambulance arrived quickly – as did the father – and as they were rushed to the hospital the son gasped through bloody bubbles his eternal thanks and gratitude to his great father for saving his life. The father leaned over and whispered, “I love you son…all is forgiven.”
Which father was the strongest?
